Be Quiet, Talk Less, Ask and Listen More

To be actively involved in solving people’s problem is a great experience. What’s more exciting is the fact that through your words, people are finding their path to success and freedom.

However as more and more people experience success by listening to you. You get to a point where your words now matter the most which is a good thing as you have successfully established yourself as an authority.

You become a thought leader whose opinion and idea is the standard for the world. Your conversation with people gradually becomes one-sided, monotonous, and sometimes boring.  Before you know what’s happening, you become a leader that talks too much.

You might have experienced such behaviour (I am as guilty as you are). It’s easy to believe that the best way to solve people’s problem is to be the Problem Solver.

However, I discovered that sometimes the best way to make an impact or light your world is to be involved passively. Now I don’t mean you should not do anything and I don’t believe that you should be the kind of individual who just let things happen but as a leader, you need to learn to listen.

When we meet depressed and heart broken people or maybe people with challenges, the natural thing to do, is instruct them to free themselves of such issues. This isn’t bad as such people need to be equipped to take care of such issue but even with the best intentions, we may end up making these people more heart broken and depressed. 

My Uncle’s 4 year old daughter screamed out loud because a cockroach had just passed by her side and without thinking was coming towards her. My Uncle reacted swiftly and stepped on this insect while to my dismay, his two sons who were older, were instructing the little girl to step on the cockroach. Strange isn’t ? but haven’t we seen leaders who behave in such manner as these boys.

Listening is a skill that can be learnt by all. I guess the reason why most leaders find it difficult to listen is that they just want to talk. They feel that their voice must be heard but the best leaders are good listeners. They are great conversationalist; they ask the right questions and make interaction fun as well as  interesting. They enliven a boring discussion and solve people challenges with a conversation.  

If you want to make a difference in your world; if you want to be an influential leader then here are 6 steps to get started :

1. Listen
2. Ask Questions
3. Give Compliments
4.  Speak clearly not jargons
5. If you can, add humor to your conversation.
6. Be honest and avoid too much flattering.I

I would love to hear your feedback. In what ways can you promote conversation?